All Things Mommy, Infertility & Loss

Birthday Countdown!

We’re now two weeks away from my first Earthly son’s first birthday. A lot of people have been asking how I’m feeling about it. Well? I’m a mess. Really… a sobbing blubbering mess.

There is a possibility that we will have another child at some point but at this very moment I have no idea what the future holds. Totally putting aside that this was the fastest 12 months in my near 35 years on this planet, this could be the only 1st birthday I have to celebrate and plan for. I feel like there was this massive culmination leading up to Thomas’ birth after waiting so long to bring a child home to parent on Earth. Not that I didn’t think about it at all during the last 12 months, but it is really hitting me hard just how fortunate we are to have him and how miraculous his little life really is.

ALL life is miraculous, please don’t get me wrong, but Thomas is a different sort of miracle to us. A miracle that we prayed and worried about for so many years. Even a year later, its still a bit surreal that he is ours to keep. After being a babysitter and nanny for many many years before becoming a mom, occasionally it feels like I’m just babysitting someone else’s child. I think to myself “When is your mother coming home?”.

Oh wait, that’s me.

Wow.

 

 

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