Tonight …

Tonight I will put my son to sleep as a baby for the last time. When he wakes up he will be considered a toddler. A “non-toddling” toddler if you will.

How did this happen? It all went too fast and it scares me to think of the future going just as fast as well!

Last year this time my parents came back to town to be here for their 2nd grandchild’s birth. They accompanied me to my very last MFM appointment (high risk OB) at which time the doctor told me that if Thomas’ c-section wasn’t scheduled for the next morning, he would have sent me to Labor & Delivery to have him anyways. His fluid was getting low and he already was a non-reactive baby. We failed nearly all non-stress tests throughout my pregnancy, and we found ourselves in Labor & Delivery for additional monitoring quite often. He was always fine…just laid back and chill.

Guess what? He still is.

I spent the full 24 hours before Thomas’ birth on pins and needles. I was already concerned about the c-section but now I was worried about keeping him alive another 24 hours after the doctor told me “It was a good thing he was going to be born in the morning”….so it was definitely a long night.

Tonight I think will be a long night as well for me. It only seems like it was yesterday that we were sitting at that appointment and here its been a whole year.

I can’t thank all the doctors enough that watched over Thomas and I those 37 weeks and 2 days. I never thought I’d have a living breathing baby to call my own and now I have the most amazing and adorable loving little boy.

This morning, before I left for work, I gave Thomas a hug and a kiss. “Have a good day baby boy….this is the last morning squeeze you get as a baby”, I told him. I cried. Then left for work and proceeded to cry the whole drive to work.

I’m a lunatic aren’t I?

Don’t answer that!


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