All Things Mommy, Uncategorized

Molars, Bowlers…I HATE molars

When someone asks me next year, “How was teething for Thomas?”. I think I’m going to drop whatever is in my hands and just run away screaming and flailing my arms. That is really just the best explanation that I have at this point.

Those first few teeth were so cute and easy. I call those “The fooler teeth”. They’re the teeth that pop up after a few days of baby drool and red rashes on the cheeks. The kind that one day your little one opens his/her mouth and you exclaim “Oh! You have teeth now!”.

Then came 1 year molars. What the….  Yeah. OK, this sucks. My child hates me and hates you and doesn’t want you to poke in his mouth. You learn that some Infant Motrin and a few frozen strawberries in a Munchkin mesh feeder will help and suddenly all is right with the world again.

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There is a slight bit of reprieve here, just long enough to let you forget that your child is NOT done teething. Yes, oh yes….then pop goes the canines. The vampire teeth and named that with good reason. Not only do they look like vampire teeth but they also cause your child to want to be awake only at night and bite you. You realize that the mesh feeders aren’t working but Infant Motrin seems to still help a bit. You consider buying garlic at the grocery store and hanging it in the nursery….

Phew. By now, you’re a pro at this teething game. Incisors, molars, canines, BRING.IT.ON.

And then…its brought-en.

TWO. YEAR. MOLARS.

:::mic drop:::

On what level of hell do 2 year molars fall?  At this point, I’d be quick to suggest that it’s close to the 7th or 8th.

They say that after you give birth, your body floods you with special happy hormones to make you forget that it was the most awful and painful thing ever….so that you want to do it again. Where are my special happy toddler molar hormones? I need them, I want them….please please please.

We are on night 3 of screaming. I feel like screaming isn’t even the right word to use to explain the sounds coming from my toddler’s mouth. Its murderous. Like someone is trying to steal his soul and he needs us to shoo it away. I’ve never been bothered by his crying or whining or yelling before, but this? THIS? Totally different ball game. He’s been to the doctor, as I was sure he had an ear infection, nope molars for sure.

We’ve been giving him Motrin every 4 hours…when he wakes up again screaming. He won’t nap more than 45 minutes either, making for one over tired baby. And Daddy and Mommy too. It’s like having a reflux newborn again.

If you have any tips for getting us through this phase please comment below.

Send wine…I like reds….I’ll email you my address.  wine

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3 thoughts on “Molars, Bowlers…I HATE molars

  1. The teething game is ridiculous. And the Tooth Fairy thing? We have to suffer while they grow these things and then we PAY them when we lose them? Seriously? Who thought that up?! Haha! The best advice I can give is to just hang in there! Good luck, Mama!

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