All Things Mommy, Infertility & Loss, Uncategorized

Dear Son

Dear Son,

I don’t know how to tell you this exactly, but you have a brother. He’s very different from other brothers. You can’t play with him, steal his food or toys, fight for my attention, or give him hugs or kisses. You see, your brother lives in heaven.

Other people may say you’re a spoiled only child because you have us all to yourself. They’re right. You ARE spoiled.

We cannot hug or kiss your brother goodnight so you are hugged and kissed twice as long and twice as much.

We cannot take your brother with us to the park in the summer so you get pushed on the swings twice as long.

We do not get an answer if we talk to your brother so we listen to you twice as intently.

It’s twice as hard to see you hit new milestones that we will never see your brother hit so we treasure yours twice as much.

You’re a very lucky little boy and we are very lucky parents to have such an amazing son to dote on completely. To the outside world, you may look like a stereotypical only child, but if they only knew the truth, maybe they would fully understand.

When you grow up, I hope that you have questions and want to talk about your brother to me, to Daddy, to anyone who will listen. I hope you love him as much as Mommy and Daddy do even though you haven’t met him on Earth. When people ask you if you have a brother or sister, I hope you’re strong enough to say “I have a brother but he lives in heaven”. Please remember that some days it’s ok to not be strong and to tell people that you don’t have siblings. We understand that it is a tough load to carry and sometimes the load gets too heavy.

Most of all, I hope you know that while your brother made Mommy a mother, you, my sweet boy, made me Mommy.

 

Love,

Mommy

XOXO

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6 thoughts on “Dear Son

  1. Definitely made me cry, and I haven’t done that regarding our losses in a looong time. Well said, mama.

  2. My oldest always mentions our middle son when he is asked about siblings. I know how tough the conversations like this can be… We’re getting to an age where my youngest will start hearing about his other big brother. Much love to you mama, I empathize very much.

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